Burma river cruise: a cruise back into history

With just 25 cabins and a contemporary design, the Orcaella has been
purpose-built to make long and exploratory voyages into the country's
remoter parts. My fellow passengers are an affable mix of Australians,
Americans and Europeans with an age range from 13 to 90. Many are
first-timers keen to catch a glimpse of this hot-list country before it gets
more developed, while others are veterans of Orient-Express's larger and
more traditional sister river cruiser, the 43-cabin Road to Mandalay, which
has been offering voyages on the Irrawaddy since 1997.

Orcaella, a four-deck river cruiser

"It looks like a hospital ship," one old hand opines, and there are early
grumbles about slow service and a lack of atmosphere. There's no faulting
the Orcaella's spirit of adventure, though, or the comfort of its cabins,
which are kitted out with floor-to-ceiling windows, rain showers and Bulgari
toiletries. While those in the deluxe category are compact, the 15 state
rooms offer a chance to watch Burma roll by in supreme style.

I find it hard to love the décor of the bar and lounge, which has chunky red
velvet sofas and monumental stools more appropriate to a Hong Kong night
spot, but we all appreciate the spacious sun deck with its wooden loungers
and 20ft swimming pool.

Other treats include a spa and fitness centre (both set, unusually, on the
upper deck), while the 54-strong, mostly Burmese crew includes a cheery
doctor who accompanies us for the entire voyage, with no charge
for consultations.

As Somerset Maugham noted when he sailed to Bagan in 1922, "river travelling
is monotonous and soothing". A voyage aboard the Orcaella is undoubtedly the
latter, with the engines so quiet at times I hardly notice we are leaving
port. This is a glide more than a cruise, and any fears of boredom are sent
packing by an engaging programme of excursions, lectures and entertainments.

Orcaella's contemporary design cabins

I have prepared for pagoda overload, but our almost daily ventures ashore are
pleasantly varied. We visit the colossal Bodhi Tataung Buddha near Monywa,
which rises to 424ft, and ride in the back of construction lorries to reach
a jungle camp near Mawlaik where elephants learn to haul logs. Heavy rain
turns an 18‑mile drive to Kalay into a bumpy 90‑minute ordeal, while in
Homalin, our northernmost port of call, a rice wine-laced encounter with the
Naga community ends up in a lively conga.

Every excursion is meticulously planned by ground staff sporting
walkie-talkies and red shirts emblazoned with "Logistics", as if we are part
of some grand presidential visit. Foreign tourists are still a novelty in
this region, and the warm welcome we get at each stop is touching. Most
memorable is an invitation to watch five boys aged from six to 10 being
prepared for monastic education in Moktaw. As I sit among the proud mums
watching their nervous sons have their heads shaved, the mixed emotions
rippling around the village hall are like the first day of term at any
primary school in the world.

After such heartfelt encounters, which invariably leave us hot, sweaty and
muddy, it is bliss to return to the cool, calm and spotless cocoon of the
Orcaella, with its cold towels, delicious welcome-back drinks and smiling
crew offering to clean the dirt from your shoes. A luxury river cruise is
surely the most stress-free way to tour a tropical destination now emerging
from decades of repression and isolation. Burma has a shortage of top-class
hotels, and our excursions provide proof enough that travelling on its
soggy, potholed roads aboard "best-available" buses can be wearying. Special
permission is also required to visit a sensitive frontier region like this,
with the Indian border just 30 miles away at some points.

While our trips ashore offer insightful adventures, they are marred by the
variable quality of our Burmese guides, the withdrawn attitude of our
lecturers and a general paucity of information about what we are visiting. A
low point comes when one guide informs me that "a cow is a useful animal",
but hopefully a seasoned Burma operator like Orient-Express will address
this. Besides, in my view the deepest joy of a cruise like this comes from
simply watching riverbank life unfold. "Who is entertaining who?" quips our
sparkiest guide, Ko Win Myint, as we find a welcoming committee of onlookers
awaiting us at every port, as eager to see us as we are them. One minute we
are among burgundy-robed monks, giggling schoolchildren and immigration
officials in immaculate white uniforms. The next we are alone with the
glistening paddy fields, or lost in the mysteries of the forest as a lonely
stupa catches the sunlight like a shiny gold tooth.

All this beauty is not good for the digestion, as meal times frequently
present me with an inner tussle between grabbing the camera and tucking into
the superb and predominantly Asian dishes prepared by our highly talented
Thai chef, Bann Nawisamphan. Her menus introduce us to the lightly spiced
flavours of Burma – the fish soup mohinga, an intriguing pennywort salad,
grilled prawns and various sticky desserts. We sample the palatable local
Red Mountain wine, and are treated to a demonstration of how to make Burmese
green tea leaf salad and pork tofu soup.

The hills of Sagaing crowned with hundreds of shrines and pagodas

Bann's finest moment comes when she cooks up a spicy storm at a barbecue held
at the charmingly neglected golf club in Mawlaik. Founded in 1936, the
oldest course in Burma has seen better days, and today a round of its nine
holes costs a mere 500 kyats (33p). Inside the gecko-decorated clubhouse, a
large sign records that the most recent hole-in-one was achieved in 1998
using a Power Big Iron No 5.

An army of Orcaella cooks and waiters descends on the club's overgrown lawns
to create one of the best pop-up restaurants I've ever visited. We arrive in
a fleet of bright red tuk-tuks to find white, linen-covered tables laid out
with candles, silverware and a feast of Asian dishes. The attention to
detail is summed up in a plethora of protective polystyrene blocks
diligently attached to the spikes of every yucca. As a xylophonist plays
music-box tunes and the complimentary champagne flows all night, the
consensus among our merry band is that it is hard to see how a high-end trip
deep into backwater Burma could get much better. In the nine days I spend
cruising the Chindwin, we don't see one other tourist.

On other evenings, the entertainments include a Burmese dance performance, a
longyi (sarong) cocktail party (ladies are given a splendid example to take
home) and a dreamy spectacle in which a thousand red, white and gold lights
are floated on the river to the sounds of classical chill.

Most romantic of all, on one night amid the dark waters near Sittaung, we let
off a host of colourfully striped Shan balloons from the Orcaella's upper
deck. These are delicate, oil-drum-sized bags powered by a flaming wooden
stick, which gently rise into the night sky in a magical procession. "Make a
wish," the crew whisper, and while some of us keep these secret others make
loud declarations. "For the people of Burma!" cries one passenger as he
dispatches his glowing parcel into the heavens.

It is a fitting thank you to an enchanting country that is now fulfilling many
a traveller's dream.

ESSENTIALS

Getting there

Singapore Airlines (020 8961 6993; singaporeair.com)
flies from Heathrow and Manchester to Yangon via Singapore, from £690
return. Take advantage of the airline's Changi Transit Voucher Scheme,
available till the end of the year, which gives transit passengers S$40
(£20) to spend at the airport, including for lounge access. For a taste of
what's new in the city, stay at the waterfront Fullerton Bay Hotel (0065
6333 8388, fullertonbayhotel.com)
in Marina Bay, double rooms from £330 with breakfast.

How to book

Cruises aboard Orient-Express's Orcaella (0845 077 2222; orcaella.net)
cost from £3,270 per person for seven nights, including all meals,
excursions, transfers and domestic flights. Voyages on the Chindwin run from
July to September, and on the Irrawaddy from September to April.

Packages

Cazenove+loyd (020 7384 2332; cazloyd.com)
offers tailor-made river cruising packages to Burma. A 13-night escorted
journey departing July 19, 2014, costs from £5,873 per person based on two
sharing, including flights with Singapore Airlines, transfers, two nights at
the Governor's Residence in Yangon with a half-day sightseeing, plus 11
nights' sailing the Chindwin from Mandalay to Bagan aboard the Orcaella.
Trips on the Irrawaddy led by Robert Gordon, the former British Ambassador
to Burma, are available in January 2014 and February 2015.

Tips

Add on a couple of nights in Yangon to admire the dazzling Shwedagon Pagoda
and the mildewed colonial buildings from the glory days of imperial Rangoon.
The Governor's Residence (0095 122 9860; governorsresidence.com)
offers an oasis in the embassy district with a garden, pool and spa; deluxe
rooms cost from £194 with breakfast.

Visas are required (myanmarembassy.com),
along with anti-malaria medication.

Take US dollars in mint condition, binoculars (for studying riverbank life)
and shoes that are easy to slip on and off in temples.

Be prepared for long periods without phone or internet access.

Reading

The River of Lost Footsteps (Faber, £9.99) and Finding George Orwell in Burma
(Granta, £8.99) make rewarding onboard reading; Insight Guide: Burma (APA,
£15.99) is a detailed and up-to-date guide.

GET OFF THE BEATEN TRACK

The mighty Mekong

Cruise from Siem Reap in Cambodia along the Mekong River to Saigon in Vietnam.
This cruise on board the Mekong Prestige takes in Tonlé Sap, Asia's largest
freshwater lake, the floating markets at Cai Be and optional sightseeing in
Saigon and at the magnificent temples of Angkor.

From £1,067 departing October 2013 to April 2014 (0808 168 1458; ewaterways.co.uk).

The many faces of Spain

See herons and storks in their natural habitat on the serene Guadiana and
Guadalquivir rivers. This eight-day cruise also takes in the cities of
Seville, Cadiz, Grenada and Cordoba as well as a visit to Faro, in Portugal.

From £1,269 departing October (0844 824 6351; shearings.com).

High jinks on the Hooghly

Snaking its way from Delhi, south to Kolkata via Varanasi and along the
Hooghly and Ganges rivers, this15-night cruise on the RV Bengal Ganges
offers a rare snapshot of India from the water. Visit palaces, temples,
cities and villages and soak up the rural scenery en route.

From £3,895 departing December (020 7752 0000; noble-caledonia.co.uk).

A slow cruise through China

Take in China's highlights on a Yangtze river cruise, as well as some
less-visited sights including the Little Wild Goose Pagoda in Wuhan and the
striking Shennong Stream, visited by "pea-pod" boat, powered by oarsmen. On
this 21-day cruise there's also an opportunity to visit the Lesser Three
Gorges.

From £2,890 departing in March 2014 (0844 288 5396; wendywutours.co.uk).

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